Money, Hair, and Freedom at Chucklehound.com

Padgett Arango and Johannes Claerbout

FADE IN:

EXT APARTMENT BUILDING - EVENING

Establishing shot of an nice apartment building in Detroit. A title card reads: Detroit, Michigan.

INT APARTMENT - EVENING

The apartment is nicely furnished, obviously the home of a rather well-off individual. The owner of the apartment is NELSON, a senior citizen, with a fair bit of cash. He is seated at his apartment's dinner table with LILA, a gorgeous twenty-five year old brunette. They are holding hands across the table, having recently finished dinner.

NELSON

Have I ever told you that you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met, Lila?

LILA

Every day since I met you.

NELSON

Good. Just wanted to make sure it hadn't slipped my mind. (BEAT) Stay with me, Lila. Promise me you'll stay with me.

Lila begins to cry and runs away from the table. Nelson follows her and puts his arms around her.

NELSON

What is it? What'd I say?

LILA

I want to stay with you, Nelson. I really do. It's just that...I don't know how to tell you this, but....I have to leave town. Tonight.

NELSON

Whoa. Hold on a second. What do you mean you have to leave town tonight?

LILA

I have to. I don't want to, Nelson, please believe me. The last two weeks have been the best of my life. You've made me so happy. I never want to be away from you. It's just that, before I met you, I was in a bit of trouble. I needed some money to pay off my debts, so I had to go to a loan shark. I've sold everything I had, but it still wasn't enough. He's going to hurt me, Nelson. I'm scared.

NELSON

It's all right, Lila honey. I'll take care of everything.

LILA

You don't understand. I'm supposed to meet with him in a few hours. If I don't have the money, he'll kill me. I don't want to die, Nelson. I don't want to die.

She collapses, crying, in Nelson's arms. He holds her and runs his hands through her hair.

NELSON

You don't have anything to worry about.

LILA

What do you mean? There's no way out of this. I have to get out of town now. Don't make this any harder for me than it is, Nelson. I don't want to leave you.

NELSON

Lila, baby. I love you.

LILA

Now don't say that.

NELSON

Why not? It's true.

LILA

But it makes it so hard to leave.

NELSON

Now, I told you I'd take care of everything. Just tell me one thing. Do you love me?

Lila looks up at him, solemnly.

LILA

I love you, Nelson.

NELSON

That's all I needed to know.

He moves away from her and walks over to his desk.

LILA

What are you doing?

NELSON

I'm writing your loan shark friend a check. How much do you owe him?

LILA

Nelson, you can't!

NELSON

Nonsense. It's the least I can do. How much?

LILA

Twenty thousand. But it's my problem, not yours! You don't have to...

Nelson tears the check out of the checkbook and turns to her.

NELSON

I know I don't have to, Lila, but I want to be able to help you. I want you to leave your old life behind. I want you to be able to stay with me forever. Will you stay with me, Lila?

LILA

Oh, yes, Nelson! Yes!

She runs over and throws her arms around him. They kiss and both smile. She takes the check from his hand and they both head towards the door.

LILA

I'm supposed to meet him in an hour I'd...I'd better be going. I'll be back soon, and then all our worries will be over.

Nelson holds the door open for her as she steps out.

NELSON

Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?

The camera circles around from Nelson's POV, that of the back of Lila's head, around to face Lila, who is holding the check, her eyes drying.

LILA

No. No, I'm sure I'll be just fine.

She walks down the hallway, leaving Nelson standing in the doorway watching her. The camera quickly tracks downward through the floors of the building, until it reaches the ground floor, as Lila steps out of the stairway. The camera follows her out the front door to a waiting convertible, driven by FLAHERTY, a sixty-three year old man, dressed in a suit that might once have been in good condition. Lila gets in the passenger seat.

FLAHERTY

You get the money?

Lila pulls out the check and smiles. Flaherty throws the convertible into drive and burns a twenty foot skid mark into the road as he peels out into the street.

CUT TO:

CREDITS

FADE IN:

EXT PAWN SHOP WINDOW - DAY

Flaherty is standing at the exterior window attempting to cash the check they collected from Nelson. Lila is waiting patiently by the car. A title card reads: Lima, Ohio. The TELLER at the window appears fairly frustrated at Flaherty's attempts.

FLAHERTY

Look. I know the check's good. The man's a god damn millionaire.

TELLER

I'm sorry, sir. The bank says the account has been closed.

FLAHERTY

God damn it!

TELLER

If you'd like to call the bank yourself, that would be no problem.

FLAHERTY

No. No, never mind.

Clearly beaten, Flaherty returns to the car.

LILA

Get the cash?

FLAHERTY

Nope. Account was closed. Must have happened last night when you didn't go back. Like I said.

LILA

Oh.

FLAHERTY

Yeah.

He paces for a minute, then, overcome by the frustration of the moment, kicks the car, sending a hubcap flying.

FLAHERTY

God damn it! Why the hell'd you have to leave last night? I told you you should have gone back.

LILA

Fuck you! I was sick of that guy. Besides, I thought...

FLAHERTY

You thought? Who the hell do you think you are? That was your first god damn con, and I've been doing this shit for the past thirty years!

LILA

Yeah, well you weren't the one in there with him. If I didn't get out last night, I might never...

FLAHERTY

No such thing as never. You gotta learn that. Look, I don't care if you liked the guy or not. First thing you've got to learn is to play parts. If you've got to be a man's lover, you learn to love that man with every waking thought. If you don't learn that much, you'll never get anywhere in this business.

LILA

I know all that. You've been telling me that since the day I met you.

FLAHERTY

Yeah, but I haven't seen you do it once. Look, sugar, I don't need you. I've worked solo most my life, and I sure as Hell don't need you now.

LILA

Yeah, but you can use me, can't you? People are much more willing to fall for a pretty face, right?

FLAHERTY

You may have something there.

LILA

You know I have something there. I'm cut out for this sort of thing. You said so yourself.

FLAHERTY

What I said is that you might not be bad at this.

LILA

And I was doing pretty well there for a while.

FLAHERTY

I've seen worse. Look, admit you blew this one, and I'll set you to work on our next one.

LILA

Fine. I fucked up. What next?

FLAHERTY

You think you can handle this sort of thing?

LILA

What sort of thing?

FLAHERTY

The whole vamp thing.

LILA

Sure. Why?

FLAHERTY

I want you to go find yourself a nice, rich bachelor and settle down.

LILA

What?

FLAHERTY

Some rich, dumb kid. Find one and marry him.

LILA

You've lost it, Flaherty.

FLAHERTY

The hell I have. What's the problem?

LILA

Won't fly around here. I've been through this area before. Someone will recognize me.

FLAHERTY

All right. We'll head south.

He reaches into the car and pulls out a road map.

FLAHERTY

How about Huntsville?

LILA

Alabama?

FLAHERTY

Alabama.

LILA

Fine.

FLAHERTY

Good. Take the car. I'll meet up with you in a few days. You'd better be married and he'd better have money.

LILA

I'll do my best.

She takes the car keys from Flaherty, gets in the car, then drives off, as he shouts after her.

FLAHERTY

You'll have to do better than that..

INT FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Lila is seated at a table with HARRISON, a young, dumb Southern boy. He is dressed in a nice suit, but he looks notably uncomfortable in it.

The two are seated at a booth at the side of the restaurant, holding hands across the table, similar to the scene with Nelson. Harrison is gazing at Lila with utter and complete adoration. They both wear wedding rings. Harrison reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a rose. Title Card: Huntsville, Alabama.

HARRISON

Happy Anniversary, Honey.

LILA

Doesn't it seem kind of silly to be celebrating a one week anniversary?

HARRISON

Not to me it doesn't. I just want you to know how much I love you, Lila.

LILA

Uh-huh. Well, I love you too sweetheart.

HARRISON

I arranged reservations for our honeymoon today.

LILA

Oh, good. How exactly did your father make his money again? Textiles, you said?

HARRISON

You don't need to worry about it, honey. I'll take care of you.

LILA

I just want to know what it is I'm getting into here.

HARRISON

Lila, honey. All you need to know is that I love you more than life itself, and that I'll take care of you till the day you die.

LILA

That's very sweet of you.

HARRISON

It's the truth. I can't live without you, darlin'.

LILA

You know I feel the same way about you, my sweet. I just feel like you're keeping me out of your life.

HARRISON

It's not that, it's just that I don't feel my wife needs to be involved with all that boring business talk. Steel working? It's not that much fun.

LILA

Of course. Excuse me, I have to go visit the ladies room.

Lila gets up, leaving Harrison staring at her, entranced.

INT RESTAURANT HALLWAY

The hallway leading back to the bathrooms is fairly nondescript, two doors and a telephone. Flaherty is on the phone, his back turned to Lila as she walks past on the way to the ladies room. He turns around.

FLAHERTY

Not even going to say hello, Lila?

LILA

Flaherty? Flaherty? Where the hell have you been?

FLAHERTY

Got pulled in on a vagrancy charge the first day I pulled into town. Just got out this afternoon. How's tricks?

LILA

How's tricks? How's tricks?!?

FLAHERTY

Keep your voice down.

LILA

Do you have any idea what life has been like since I last saw you? I've spent every god damn minute of the past week and a half with that inbred redneck hick drooling all over me! I've had to sleep with that fuckin' goober for the past seven nights! Do you have any idea what it's like going to bed with a Southern man? I would rather sleep with a horde of wild Mongols than another one of these cow-fucker little pissants. What the fuck am I doing this for?

FLAHERTY

You're doing this for money. Lots of it. He's rich, right?

LILA

Yeah, he's rich. Daddy made a bundle in textiles or peanuts or something like that. He doesn't want to give me access to his bank account, though. Thinks a woman doesn't need to deal with that sort of thing.

FLAHERTY

Well, you know how to pick em.

LILA

Yeah, but I didn't think I'd have to stay with him for a week.

FLAHERTY

You want to get away?

LILA

Hell, yeah!

FLAHERTY

Fine. Let's go.

LILA

What? Here?

FLAHERTY

Yup. You're being kidnapped.

Flaherty pulls a sealed envelope and a pen out of his pocket.

LILA

What's that?

FLAHERTY

Ransom note. What's his name?

LILA

Harrison. Tyler Harrison.

FLAHERTY

Fine. All right, let's go.

He drops the envelope on the floor and the two head out the back door.

EXT HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

The car pulls up in front of a hotel room out of town. The two get out of the car. A TOURIST unloading a suitcase out of the car next to the driver's side door pauses in his work.

TOURIST

Say. Nice car.

FLAHERTY

(curtly)

Thanks.

TOURIST

No. I mean it. That's a real beaut! Gorgeous.

The tourist grabs the Polaroid hanging around his neck and points it at the car. Lila poses for the picture. The tourist looks through the viewfinder, sees Lila posing, looks up, smiles at her, then prepares to take a picture. Flaherty looks up as the flash goes off. He dives across the car towards the tourist. He snatches the picture and stuffs it into his back pocket.

FLAHERTY

Give me that!

TOURIST

Hey! Give that back.

FLAHERTY

Look. Just mind your own business and everything will be just fine.

The tourist looks at Flaherty, is cowed, then hoists his suitcase out of the car. Flaherty places his hand on Lila's elbow and leads her into the hotel room.

LILA

Why did you have to do that?

FLAHERTY

You don't want pictures of you floating around. Things go bad, people have an idea who to look for. Besides, how would it look if you were supposed to be kidnapped, and someone had a picture of you gallivanting about while you're supposed to be being tortured by kidnappers.

LILA

Fine. So, how long do I have to stay here?

FLAHERTY

Few days, at most. Look, you're going to have to stay put. Don't let anyone see you. If they recognize you, it's all over.

LILA

Okay. What are you going to do?

FLAHERTY

I'm going to tail the kid for a while. Make sure he doesn't go to the police.

LILA

Why wouldn't he?

FLAHERTY

Told him I'd kill you if he did. He's dumb, right?

LILA

Yeah.

FLAHERTY

Good. Should be enough, then. Might have to mail him your hand or something. Better follow him just to be sure.

Flaherty dashes out. Lila sits down on the bed and sighs.

EXT BUS STATION PARKING LOT - DAY

Harrison is walking quickly across the parking lot towards the station. Flaherty is following behind, generally succeeding at looking inconspicuous. He follows Harrison as he ducks inside the terminal.

INT BUS STATION

Harrison walks toward the front desk, as the TICKET AGENT eyes him suspiciously.

HARRISON

Uh, miss. I think there's been an accident outside. There's a man lying with blood all over him. You'd better go take a look.

The ticket agent stares blankly at him, clearly not believing what Harrison is saying.

TICKET AGENT

Why don't I just call an ambulance?

HARRISON

No. He needs help right away. I think you need to go help him.

TICKET AGENT

You could help him?

HARRISON

No, I think he needs, uh, special help. You'd better hurry. I think it's serious.

TICKET AGENT

I suggest you leave quickly, before I call the police.

Harrison does not move, and the ticket agent picks up the phone. Before she can dial, though, Flaherty steps in and distracts her.

FLAHERTY

Excuse me, miss. Could I get change for a twenty? A ten and ten ones, if you don't mind. I just need to get a pack of smokes. Nasty habit, I suppose, but better than some.

The ticket agent bends down to get the change, and Flaherty gestures to Harrison to take off, which Harrison wisely does.

FLAHERTY

You know, I did promise my kid I'd stop smoking, maybe I'd better just trade these in for a ten. Keep me from feeding them into the damn machine, right? Sure is fine weather we're having, isn't it? Nothing like Alabama in the spring. You know, this is all kind of silly. Why don't you just take that ten and the stack of ones and give me my twenty back?

The teller hands him the twenty. Flaherty smiles, pockets the thirty dollars and heads out of the station.

EXT BUS STATION PARKING LOT

Harrison is nervously pacing that parking lot, then notices Flaherty's approach and freezes.

HARRISON

Thanks a lot. I sure do owe you a big...

FLAHERTY

What the hell were you doing in there, kid?

HARRISON

I needed some cash. Long story.

FLAHERTY

I got time. Let's go get some coffee.

Flaherty begins to walk off. Harrison gets confused, but follows.

INT COFFEE SHOP

Camera tracks along counter of coffee shop until it finds Harrison and Flaherty. Flaherty is smoking and drinking coffee while the kid talks. It should be clear they have been talking for some time.

FLAHERTY

So, why do you need cash all of a sudden?

HARRISON

My wife was kidnapped.

FLAHERTY

That's a damn shame. Why not just pay them off?

HARRISON

I'm flat broke is why. Spent my last few dollars buying her dinner last night.

FLAHERTY

Why the hell would someone kidnap a woman with no money?

HARRISON

Aw, she had money. I just can't get to it. We've only been married a week.

FLAHERTY

I see. So you figured you could swipe cash from a bus station register to pay them off?

HARRISON

Seemed like a good idea at the time.

FLAHERTY

How much?

HARRISON

How much what?

FLAHERTY

How much do the kidnappers want?

HARRISON

Half a million.

FLAHERTY

That's a pretty piece of change.

HARRISON

Tell me about it. I've never had more than a hundred bucks in my life.

Flaherty rubs his forehead, obviously caused pain from the whole situation.

FLAHERTY

Kid, can I give you a piece of advice?

HARRISON

I could use it.

FLAHERTY

Women. Avoid them.

HARRISON

What?

FLAHERTY

Ok, here it is. I'd just sit back and wait. Don't go to the cops. Don't steal any more money. Just give me a couple hours to think about it. I think I can help you some.

HARRISON

I just met you. Why would you want to help me?

FLAHERTY

Why? Because I don't want anything to happen to your wife. She sounds like a lovely woman.

HARRISON

You'll help me, mister? How?

FLAHERTY

I don't know yet, but I'm thinking. Let's go, this coffee's terrible.

They get up and go to pay their bill. At the cash register, Flaherty reaches his hand into the fishbowl of business cards, grabs a handful, and stuffs them into his wallet.

HARRISON

Say! Nice wallet.

FLAHERTY

Thanks. If there's one thing you should come to appreciate, it's the value of a nice wallet. I've had this one for years. I picked it up last time I was down in Cuba. So, if your wife's so rich, how come she decided to marry you? True love?

HARRISON

You know, the first time I ever saw that woman, I figured there was no way I'd ever have her. Lila pulled into town, all dolled up like a big city woman and driving a nice old car. I knew she was way out of my league, but, hell, my daddy always told me anything worth having is worth working for, so I spent most of my college money on some new clothes, a few nice dinners. Dropped a few hints that I was rolling in cash, and next thing you know, we're at the justice of the peace. And now I'll probably never see her again.

FLAHERTY

Heartbreaking. Look, I've gotta take care of a couple errands. I'll meet you here in two hours. Just sit down and have some coffee. You'll feel better.

Flaherty takes off down the street, leaving Harrison at the doorway. He turns and returns to the coffee shop.

INT HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Flaherty walks in the room. He is calm, but it is apparent to Lila that something is wrong.

LILA

How'd it go?

FLAHERTY

Fine.

LILA

He go to the police?

FLAHERTY

No.

LILA

Is he going to pay the ransom?

FLAHERTY

Off hand, my answer would be no.

LILA

No?

FLAHERTY

No. Do you know why?

LILA

(meekly)

No.

FLAHERTY

(screaming)

Because he doesn't have any fucking money! He's a dirt-poor country boy who was probably born in a god damn barn. He spent his childhood thinking a night on the town was a trip to the feed store. What the hell gave you the idea he was rich? What in the name of all that is holy gave you the idea that this piece of shit country boy had more than a dime to his name? Why on earth would anyone think that little inbred opossum would be rich?

LILA

He dressed nice.

FLAHERTY

He dressed nice.

Flaherty laughs.

LILA

What?

FLAHERTY

You got burned by a peanut farmer.

LILA

Look, you didn't give me any instructions when you sent me down here. You told me to get married and I did....

FLAHERTY

No. I told you to find someone rich and marry him. You married some guy who has to think twice before splurging on fries!

LILA

I don't have to take this shit!

FLAHERTY

Where the hell are you going?

LILA

I'm leaving. I can't take it any more. I'm better off on my own.

FLAHERTY

The hell you are! You're nothing without me.

LILA

You're that good?

FLAHERTY

Yeah. The best.

LILA

If you're so god damn good, let's see you make a buck out of this one.

FLAHERTY

Fine.

LILA

What?

FLAHERTY

Fine. You stay here. I'll take care of everything.

Flaherty grabs a suit from a hanger and leaves. Lila starts after him, then realizes that it is impossible for her to leave the room without incurring possible bad circumstances.

LILA

Where the hell are you going? Come back here!

Sound of car pulling away. Lila slams the door and falls down on the bed.

INT COFFEE SHOP

Harrison is seated alone at the counter. Flaherty, now dressed in a snazzy suit, comes up behind him and taps him on the shoulder.

FLAHERTY

I figured it out. Come on. Let's get some dinner.

EXT STREET

The two are walking down the street, en route to dinner.

HARRISON

Okay, how am I going to get her back?

FLAHERTY

Kid, let me ask you something.

HARRISON

Shoot.

FLAHERTY

What are you willing to do to get her back?

HARRISON

Anything. Anything at all.

FLAHERTY

Do you consider yourself a charmer?

HARRISON

Well, my cousins always said that..

FLAHERTY

No, what I mean is, you ever think of using that face to, well, convince people of things that weren't necessarily true?

HARRISON

Oh. Like a flimflam man!

FLAHERTY

Sure. Just like a flimflam man. You've got a good face for it. Believable. Trustworthy. Lots of people will fall for it.

HARRISON

But I'm horrible at lying. You saw me at the bus station.

FLAHERTY

Do you know what a con means? Confidence. You've got to have confidence in yourself. You've got to have confidence in your ability. And, most of all, you've got to have confidence in your story.

HARRISON

I did.

FLAHERTY

The hell you did! Did you honestly believe that there was a man bleeding to death out there? Did you see a man dying a slow death? If someone had asked you what was in the parking lot, would your first response have been, a man holding in his own intestines in a futile attempt to keep them from falling out?

HARRISON

No.

FLAHERTY

It's just a question of confidence. Confidence and attitude. With those two, you just can't lose.

HARRISON

I just don't think I'm cut out for it.

FLAHERTY

It's easy. Watch.

Flaherty enters the doorway of a restaurant they are passing. Harrison pauses for a minute, then follows.

INT RESTAURANT- DAY

Harrison and Flaherty are seated at a table. The WAITER comes over to take their order.

FLAHERTY

Two prime ribs. And put it on my tab.

WAITER

I'm sorry, sir. We don't keep tabs here.

FLAHERTY

And why the hell not?

WAITER

Restaurant policy.

FLAHERTY

Do you value your job here?

WAITER

Yes, sir.

FLAHERTY

You don't know who I am, do you?

WAITER

No, sir.

FLAHERTY

You mean to tell me you haven't seen one thing in the paper about the film production crew in town?

WAITER

No, sir.

FLAHERTY

I can't believe it. Kid, who's supposed to be doing publicity for us?

Harrison remains silent. Flaherty glares at him, trying to convey that the entire con will fall unless Harrison joins in and backs up Flaherty.

HARRISON

Uh....Michael?

FLAHERTY

Yeah, that's it. Michael. Have him fired. Tonight! God damn it, no one in this town's heard about it. Hundred million they're spending on this film, you'd think the town would be excited.

WAITER

Oh, we are sir!

FLAHERTY

Oh, you're excited and you haven't even seen the set?

WAITER

The set?? Sure, I've seen the set. It's the...set! With all the trucks. By the street.

FLAHERTY

Okay, that's better. But I still want Michael fired.

HARRISON

I'll take care of it.

FLAHERTY

Good. Say, you've got a good face there, kid.

WAITER

You think so?

FLAHERTY

Sure. I'm a director, aren't I? I know a camera face when I see one! Say, why don't you give me a call tomorrow? Maybe we can work something out for you?

WAITER

Really?

FLAHERTY

Sure. You could have a future. Here's my card.

Flaherty pulls one of his business cards out of his pocket and hands it to the waiter. The waiter stares at it, confused.

WAITER

Pest control?

FLAHERTY

You don't know much, do you kid?

WAITER

No sir.

FLAHERTY

Good. Call me tomorrow.

WAITER

I will, sir. (BEAT) How would you like your steaks?

INT RESTAURANT

Harrison and Flaherty are dining on some lovely steaks.

FLAHERTY

See how easy it is, kid? Admit it, you liked helping me out back there. You feel that rush? We had that waiter in the palm of our hands. You get it, kid? You're a natural!

Harrison talks with a chunk of steak wedged into his mouth.

HARRISON

It was kind of fun.

FLAHERTY

Kid, you ain't really lived life until you've had a man eating out of your hands. Anything you say is God's own truth in their eyes. Anything you do is the Word and Law. You are their entire existence. That, my friend, is what living is all about.

HARRISON

Yeah. Yeah, that sounds nice.

FLAHERTY

Nice doesn't begin to describe it. (BEAT) So, are you in or out?

HARRISON

Hell, I'm in. If it can get me my wife back.

FLAHERTY

Oh. Your wife. No problem. You need half a mil, right?

HARRISON

Half a million by tomorrow at six or they kill my darling Lila.

FLAHERTY

No problem. I've got everything under control.

HARRISON

You do?

FLAHERTY

(gesturing with steak knife)

Doubt is the first step to failure. Trust, my friend, is the golden road pathway to success.

He stares at the steak knife he holds in his hand, then lunges across the table apparently driving the knife into Harrison's right shoulder. Harrison screams. Flaherty opens his hand, revealing that he stabbed him with the butt of the knife. He shows Harrison his shirt, which has clearly not been stabbed.

FLAHERTY

Trust.

INT TAX ASSESSOR'S OFFICE - DAY

Harrison and Flaherty are loitering about, waiting to be helped by the teller, who is lost in the stacks somewhere.

HARRISON

Why are we here?

FLAHERTY

Kid, you've got to go to where the money is. Who are the five richest people in town?

HARRISON

I don't know. Mr. Spanzotti just moved in last year and bought up that mansion on Williams.

FLAHERTY

Probably in with the Mob. Who else you got?

HARRISON

Old Widow Spelman always paid for her groceries with hundred dollar bills.

FLAHERTY

Old widow? You want the AARP on our ass? No. We need someone who would be willing to drop half a million on a land deal.

HARRISON

Oh. How about Jefferson Hughes? Someone had told me that he gets kickbacks from his city council post.

FLAHERTY

Perfect. Let's just take a look at his file. Make sure he has the cash on hand.

The teller walks up to the counter.

TELLER

May I help you?

FLAHERTY

Yes, I'd like to take a look at my tax returns from last year. The name's Wilson. John Wilson.

TELLER

One moment, sir.

The teller heads off to the far end of the stacks. Flaherty watches her leave, then hurdles the counter and runs back into the stacks. Harrison looks around nervously.

The teller runs her fingers over the files, and, failing to find the requested file, heads back. Flaherty finds the file he is looking for and heads back, sees the teller at the desk and cowers in the aisle.

TELLER

I couldn't seem to find your...where is your friend?

HARRISON

Uh, he had to go to the bathroom. Nose bleed.

TELLER

(disgusted)

Ah. Well, tell him to come back when he's feeling better.

The teller heads back off into the stacks. Flaherty dives out, grabs Harrison by the shoulder, and the two rush out into the hallway.

FLAHERTY

Nosebleeds?

HARRISON

It was the best I could think of.

FLAHERTY

Good enough. Anyway, I got the file. Looks like Hughes is definitely our man. Loads of suspect deductions. Pulled in over four million last year. I couldn't have asked for a better mark.

HARRISON

I don't know if this is such a good idea.

FLAHERTY

Why the hell not? The man's begging to be hit. We'll start first thing in the morning.

HARRISON

I told you he was on city council, right?

FLAHERTY

So? What of it?

HARRISON

He runs this town. Police. Fire department. All of it. Won't he get mad if we take half a million from him?

FLAHERTY

He would if he thinks we took it from him. But we're going to be so smooth, he's going to be thanking us for taking his money Besides, you want to save your wife, right?

HARRISON

Yeah.

FLAHERTY

Do anything for her, right?

HARRISON

Anything.

FLAHERTY

Good. Now let's find ourselves a hotel. You're going to want to get some sleep in you. We're going to have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.

LILA'S HOTEL ROOM - EVENING

Lila is sitting on the bed, holding her head in her hands. She is plainly extremely bored. She picks up the remote control from the bedside table, then turns on the TV. The TV comes to life in a burst of static.

LILA

No TV. Right.

She turns off the TV and falls back on the bed. She closes her eyes as if to sleep, but the sound of the television in the next room is extremely loud. The camera tracks through the wall to the neighboring room, where an academic looking PHYSICIST is watching the NASA channel, as he undresses for bed. The camera tracks back across to Lila's room, who is lying in bed, eyes open, unable to sleep due to the noise.

LILA

I don't fucking believe it.

Lila gets out of bed and goes over the window. She pulls open the curtains and notices the sign in front of the hotel. It reads: Welcome Southeastern Regional Projectile Physicists Convention. Lila throws the curtains closed in disgust.

LILA

Damn physicists.

She stands by the window, holding the curtain in one hand. She walks over to the wall and pounds on it. Cut to shot of Physicist's room, as he picks up the remote and turns up the volume.

LILA

Son of a bitch is gonna pay.

Lila looks around the room, angrily. She glares at the broken TV set, at the phone, then at the wall from which the sound is emanating.

She smiles, hikes up her skirt, and slides off her underwear. She opens her door, looking carefully to make sure she is not observed, and sneaks over to the physicist's room. She hangs the panties on his door handle, makes a note of the room number, then heads back to her room. She strides towards the telephone and punches in the extension of the neighboring room. The camera tracks so that both the Physicist and Lila are in frame, with the wall separating them.

PHYSICIST

Hello?

LILA

(sexily)

Hi there.

PHYSICIST

Ummm....hi. Who is this?

LILA

I'm your new friend.

PHYSICIST

Uh, great. Why are you calling me?

LILA

I'm going to be doing a lot more than just calling you. You won the convention sweepstakes and guess who you're getting as a prize?

PHYSICIST

What sweepstakes?

LILA

It wasn't really publicized. Now, here's what I want you to do, put down the phone and open your door. I left you a present.

The Physicist puts down the phone and walks to the door. He opens it and picks up the panties. He closes the door and picks up the phone.

PHYSICIST

OK. Now what?

LILA

Now, I want you to take off all your clothes and put on my panties. Then blindfold yourself.

PHYSICIST

What? Why the hell should I do any of this? I have no idea who you are.

LILA

How was the convention?

PHYSICIST

(flustered)

It..it was fine. I presented my paper on differential imaging equation typology.

LILA

Sounds like you did a great job. Don't you deserve to get out of yourself for a while? Take a walk on the wild side.

PHYSICIST

I don't know.

LILA

Let me take over for a while.

Pause.

PHYSICIST

Blindfold?

LILA

Trust me.

She hangs up the phone, leaving the Physicist looking confused. He hangs up the phone and begins to undress as the camera tracks back to Lila's room. She picks up the phone again and dials.

LILA

(with Southern accent)

Hello, Police. I'm staying at the Twin Oaks Motel and there's this, well, (WHISPERED) prostitute next door. Yes, they're making so much noise and, you know, I'm very sensitive to that sort of thing, and I just can't stand to be so close to something like that. You will? Oh, thank you officer.

Lila hangs up the phone and walks out her front door. The camera tracks over to the Physicist's room, where the Physicist is blindfolded with his tie, wearing nothing but Lila's panties, lying face down. Lila enters front door and closes it behind her.

LILA

Hi, lover.

PHYSICIST

I've never done anything like this before in my life. I don't know what I'd tell my wife if she ever found out.

LILA

I know. I'm not going to tell her.

Lila walks over to the Physicist's pants and pulls out a heavy leather belt. She stands over the man and raises the belt over her head. She is grinning widely. It is pretty clear that she is enjoying herself.

LILA

You worthless piece of trash. You'd lick my boots just to get a whiff of me!

PHYSICIST

Uh, sure.

LILA

Sure? Sure?

She snaps the belt over him. He screams.

LILA

Let me make this clear. I am your mistress. There is no "uh, sure" with me. Do you understand?

PHYSICIST

Yes.

LILA

Yes, mistress!

PHYSICIST

Yes, mistress.

LILA

Good. Now, are you ready for your punishment?

PHYSICIST

Yes, mistress!

Lila whips the Physicist repeatedly with the belt. He screams with pleasure. She stops, listens, and hears sirens in the distance. The Physicist whimpers pathetically.

LILA

Hold on a moment. You're a big boy. I'm need to get my special tools.

He whimpers happily. Lila walks over the door connecting the two rooms and unlocks it. She then heads out the exterior door, leaving it open. Police cars pull in and two police officers walk into room.

PHYSICIST

Once again, mistress! Beat me like a mule!

POLICE OFFICER

I'd be glad to, boy.

The police officers grab the Physicist and drag him out by the shoulders, as the Physicist cries. The police close the door behind them. The room remains still for a moment, until the adjoining door opens and Lila enters. She looks around, sees that the room is empty, then enters and turns on the television set. She lies down on the bed, notices an open bottle of water by the bedside and takes a drink from it, while settling down to watch TV.

After a moment of watching TV, she picks up the Physicist's pants and pulls out his wallet. Removing first the cash, she pulls out the man's license and credit cards, and reaches over to the bedside table to get pencil and paper. She starts writing.

INT HOTEL - NIGHT

Harrison is tossing in turning in bed. Flaherty is seated at the table, reading the paper and smoking.

FLAHERTY

Having trouble getting to sleep? Want me to turn out the light?

HARRISON

No. It's not that.

FLAHERTY

What is it, then? Not enough coffee?

HARRISON

No. I'm just a little nervous about hitting Hughes. I mean, he'll kill us when he finds out. Shit like this didn't happen at the Piggly Wiggly.

FLAHERTY

Oh, you're just nervous. I used to feel that way before a job, too. Don't worry. It gets better.

HARRISON

What makes you think I'll do it again?

FLAHERTY

You should be glad you're starting out so big. I had to pull short cons in convenience store parking lots for six years before I saw a job in the four figures?

HARRISON

What did you do?

FLAHERTY

Nothing big. Quick little two-bit con jobs. Not the most profitable, but not too risky.

HARRISON

Like what?

FLAHERTY

Well, I was a card man, myself. Knew almost any card trick under the sun.

HARRISON

Show me one.

FLAHERTY

You got any cards?

HARRISON

There's some in the drawer. On top of the Bible.

He reaches over and pulls out the cards. Flaherty takes them and begins shuffling.

FLAHERTY

All right. This one doesn't take a whole lot of slight of hand, just a lot of confidence. Watch closely.

Flaherty begins shuffling the cards, one-handed. He starts tossing the cards back and forth between hands, then settles on one hand and shuffles them there.

FLAHERTY

Keep your eye on the cards, sir. Don't miss a second. Now, pick one.

Harrison reaches out and picks a card. He looks at it, then slides it back into the deck. Flaherty shuffles the deck.

FLAHERTY

Now, at this point, you bet the mark you can't draw the card out of the deck, with your eyes closed. So, where's the card?

HARRISON

In your sleeve.

FLAHERTY

Very good.

HARRISON

How is that going to help me with Hughes?

FLAHERTY

Everything I teach you. Every move I make. The way my lip twitches before I take a drink of coffee will help you with Hughes.

HARRISON

Maybe I'm just not cut out for this.

FLAHERTY

Kid, I'm just trying to help you out. How long have you lived in this town?

HARRISON

Twenty three years.

FLAHERTY

This is something different. Something new. Something exciting. Pulling a job just makes you feel alive. Makes you feel right out there on the edge. There's something about it that just makes life worth living.

HARRISON

You think so?

FLAHERTY

I'd be dead if it weren't. Look, why don't you go take a walk? Get some fresh air. Think about it for a while.

Harrison turns to leave, turns back, and grabs the cards. He begins trying to shuffle, does okay for moment, then fumbles and sends cards flying. Flaherty internally winces.

FLAHERTY

Think on it.

EXT STREET - NIGHTTIME

Harrison walks down the deserted street. He walks past a bar, then walks in.

INT BAR

Harrison is seated next to a BUSINESSMAN. The businessman looks fairly sauced. It appears that both have been drinking together for a while.

BUSINESSMAN

See, my old lady keeps trying to get me to find another job, but I keep telling her I'm happy where I am. Are you happy where you are?

HARRISON

I haven't figured that out yet. Look, buddy, I feel real bad about all your troubles. Say, why don't you let me buy the next round of drinks?

BUSINESSMAN

No. I can't let you do that. I've really had enough. Wife's going to kill me.

HARRISON

All right.

Harrison pulls out the deck of cards and begins shuffling.

BUSINESSMAN

What are those for?

HARRISON

Pick a card.

The businessman reaches out and picks one, then slides it back. Harrison begins shuffling fancily.

HARRISON

All right. If I can pull out the card you drew, you buy the drinks. Otherwise, I have to pick up the tab.

BUSINESSMAN

You're crazy. You'll never do it.

HARRISON

Three of hearts?

BUSINESSMAN

I'll be damned! Bartender! More drinks.

EXT STREET

Harrison walks back to the hotel feeling more confident.

INT HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Harrison opens the door. Flaherty is still sitting at the chair, smoking and staring at the wall.

FLAHERTY

Feeling any better?

HARRISON

Yeah. Yeah, I think I am.

FLAHERTY

Good. Better get some sleep. We're getting up in four hours.

COFFEE SHOP - DAWN

Flaherty and Harrison are seated at the counter, much as they were the day before. It is exceedingly early in the morning, as evidenced by Harrison's extremely groggy demeanor. Flaherty, on the other hand, is chain-smoking happily.

FLAHERTY

Beautiful morning, isn't it?

HARRISON

Why is someone pounding on my eyeballs? It's too damn early.

FLAHERTY

It's never too early. Another thing you gotta understand, kid. To get the job done right, you have to be willing to do anything, anytime to make your mark buy the story. If the mark wakes up at six, you're at his bedside with a plate of waffles. Got that?

HARRISON

Grumble. What are we doing anyway? You haven't told me shit.

FLAHERTY

I'll tell you when you need to know.

HARRISON

We're partners, right? Its six o clock in the god damn morning. I think I deserve to be told what the hell we're doing.

FLAHERTY

Hey there, Bubba. Calm down. First off, we're not partners. We gotta get me a car, and some clothes. You've got some decent clothes at home, right?

HARRISON

Just the ones I bought to marry Lila.

FLAHERTY

Don't remind me. Just do this. Head out to city limits and buy us an option on some land.

HARRISON

Why?

FLAHERTY

Trust. Don't make me stab you again. Just buy up thirty acres or so. Here, take this checkbook.

Harrison takes the checkbook and looks at the name.

HARRISON

Warren Darling?

FLAHERTY

Yeah. Now, whatever the farmer wants for the land, offer three times that. Got it?

HARRISON

Sure. But...

FLAHERTY

Doesn't matter. Just do what I say. After the farmer takes the check, slip him a stack of twenties to follow these instructions.

Flaherty pulls out a slip of paper and hands it to Harrison.

HARRISON

(reading)

"Should anyone ask about the new owner of the land, accept a bribe, then give him this phone number..." What phone is that?

FLAHERTY

Cell phone. It was in the briefcase. Nice, huh? Picked it up last night. Now, when you're done with that, head on back to the hotel.

HARRISON

What are you going to be doing?

FLAHERTY

Convincing Hughes your little plot of dirt is worth a half a million.

Silence.

HARRISON

Flaherty, I'm rapidly losing that trust thing.

FLAHERTY

Kid, you ever want to see your Lila again, you better get it back.

LILA'S HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Lila is back in her hotel room, already awake and alert. She is seated in bed, holding the piece of paper on which she has written the information gleaned from the Physicist's wallet. She leans over and grabs the phone, dials, and begins talking in a Southern accent.

LILA

Hello, First Alabama Bank? This is, uh, Mrs. Douglas Linder. Yes, Mrs. Elizabeth Linder. I'd like to open a new bank account, for my charity. The United Crippled Orphan's Fund. Why, that's wonderful. I'll stop by to fill out the paperwork tomorrow.

She presses down the receiver button, then dials again.

LILA

Hello, Northwest Airlines?

EXT CAR DEALERSHIP

Flaherty is standing about with a CAR DEALER.

CAR DEALER

Best damn car on the lot.

FLAHERTY

Grunt. How much?

CAR DEALER

Twenty-two thousand.

FLAHERTY

Ooooh. That's kind of pricey.

CAR DEALER

True, but you've got to understand that a car like this only goes up in value. And, I can give it to you for no money down.

FLAHERTY

No money down, you say? You speak my language.

CAR DEALER

From the moment you walked on this lot, I knew you were a sensible man. I'll have Edwina draw up the papers.

EXT MAIN ROAD

Flaherty, dressed in a sharp suit, is driving down the road in his shiny new convertible. He pulls into a full service gas station.

ATTENDANT

Can I help you, sir?

FLAHERTY

Yeah, fill up the tank, why don't you?

ATTENDANT

Right away, sir. Can I get you anything else?

FLAHERTY

Yeah, where can a guy get a bite to eat in this town?

ATTENDANT

Well, I usually eat at Wok Express...

Flaherty pulls out a fifty and holds it up in front of the attendant.

FLAHERTY

Let me rephrase that. Where would a guy like me want to eat?

ATTENDANT

Oh. Sir. That would be the Washington Club. But you need to be a member to eat there.

FLAHERTY

Perfect. Thanks, kid.

Flaherty hands the attendant the bill.

FLAHERTY

Thanks, kid.

Flaherty peels out, nearly causing an accident. He waves, then drives off. The attendant goes inside and talks to his coworkers.

ATTENDANT

Well, how do you like that? A forty dollar tip. I gotta tell Jim about this one.

INT HOTEL ROOM- DAY

Lila is on the bed, the phone book open in front of her. She runs her finger down the list of names, then dials. Cross cut between shots of the WIDOW in her kitchen and Lila.

WIDOW

Hello?

LILA

Hello, Ma'am. I'm calling as a representative from the Untied Crippled Orphans' fund. We're trying to raise funds for a new youth center for the children and are wondering if you could find it in your heart to donate.

WIDOW

Why, yes. I'd love to. Crippled orphans, you say?

LILA

Yes, Ma'am. Poor children with no parents and no legs.

WIDOW

Oh, that's awful!

LILA

Isn't it though?

WIDOW

Where should I send the check?

LILA

Bless you ma'am. If you could send it to...

Lila looks down at the paper that has the Physicist's home address on it.

LILA

...2347 West Kensington...

EXT STREET - DAY

Flaherty pulls his car up to a PASSERBY.

FLAHERTY

Excuse me, sir.

PASSERBY

Hello?

FLAHERTY

I was wondering if you could tell me....

PASSERBY

Wait. You're that rich guy from out of town!

FLAHERTY

How's you hear that?

PASSERBY

Word gets around.

FLAHERTY

(smiling)

Sure does. Say, do you think you could tell me how to get to the Washington Club?

PASSERBY

What's it worth to you?

INT WASHINGTON CLUB

The club is packed with well-dressed types, all of them clearly men of power. Flaherty enters, providing the maitre-d with a hefty bribe as he does so. He finds a waiter and places his hand on his shoulder, waving a bill in front of him as he does so.

FLAHERTY

Say, which one of these is Mr. Hughes?

WAITER

That one at the bar, sir.

Flaherty hands him the bill, then walks smoothly towards the bar, seating himself next to HUGHES, a paunchy, middle aged, old Southern politician.

FLAHERTY

Whiskey and soda. (to Hughes) Can I buy you a drink?

HUGHES

Why not? Bit early in the day, but one can't hurt. Scotch, if you don't mind. It's not often one finds a Yankee quite so generous as yourself, sir.

FLAHERTY

I'm new in town, so I figured it couldn't hurt to make some friends. Name's Wilson. Paul Wilson.

HUGHES

Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Wilson. You can call me Jefferson. So, what brings you to our fair city?

FLAHERTY

Business, really. I work for Chipco International. You've heard of us? Deal mostly in microtechnology. My employers sent me down here to purchase some land for our new factory.

HUGHES

Really? They must trust you an awful lot.

FLAHERTY

They sure do. Just told me to use my best judgment. No spending guidelines whatsoever.

Flaherty's cell phone rings.

FLAHERTY

Excuse me. I should probably get that. (into phone) Wilson. You don't say? The President? (to Hughes) Excuse me.

Flaherty bends over to take the call. Hughes is mobbed by the maitre 'd, the waiter, and assorted restaurant patrons.

WAITER

Do you know who that is?

MAITRE 'D

I hear his whole car's full of money!

Hughes begins beating them back. They flee. Flaherty closes the cell phone and turns back to Hughes.

HUGHES

So, uh, how do you like our town?

FLAHERTY

Nice place, but, and I hope you'll accept my apologies, I just can't wait to get back home to my wife.

HUGHES

Completely understandable. I take it, then, you have found your piece of land.

FLAHERTY

I believe I have. Perfect little spot just out on east 128. I think I'll be heading out around four to see how much the owner wants for it.

HUGHES

He's a lucky man.

FLAHERTY

Sure is.

HUGHES

I would think someone might try to beat you to it.

FLAHERTY

Happens all the time. Heck, I had to pay almost a million for the last one. Kind of unfortunate, but, hey, it's not my money.

HUGHES

That sounds like a fine set up you have there. Well, I've got to go. It was a pleasure talking to you, Mr. Wilson.

Hughes seizes Flaherty's hand with excessive vigor and flesh.

FLAHERTY

Pleasure's all mine, sir.

Hughes waddles out of the restaurant at full speed, hurrying to a pay phone. He fumbles with some change, then lifts the receiver and dials.

HUGHES

Brian? This is Jefferson. I need to find out about land for sale out on east 128. Have any lots been optioned recently? It has? Damn it! All right, give me the address.

Angrily, he hangs up the phone and waddles off. Rack focus reveals Flaherty standing, watching Hughes's departure, and smiling. He is surrounded by the waiter and the maitre 'd. He shoves them out of his way and leaves.

INT HOTEL ROOM

Lila is in bed on the phone.

LILA

Hello, is this Mr. Delroy McKenna of the Montana Militia. This is Elizabeth Linder of Huntsville, Alabama. I'd like to make a donation to your organization. Five thousand dollars. It's my pleasure, sir. Yes, I'll send out a certified check this evening.

EXT FARMHOUSE

MCMURTRY, a farmer, is standing about, leaning on a hoe and chewing a weed, when Hughes's excessively expensive car rolls in. Hughes steps out, sweating and wiping his brow.

HUGHES

Mr. McMurtry?

MCMURTRY

Yup.

HUGHES

Pleased to meet you, sir. I understand you sold this piece of land this morning.

MCMURTRY

Yup.

HUGHES

Who did you sell it to?

MCMURTRY

Don't reckon I should be telling you that sort of thing.

HUGHES

Look. I'm a member of the city council. I need to know.

MCMURTRY

Don't reckon I should be telling you that sort of thing.

HUGHES

How much?

MCMURTRY

Pardon?

HUGHES

How much would it cost to get you to tell me?

MCMURTRY

Don't rightly know.

HUGHES

Twenty dollars? Thirty?

MCMURTRY

I always felt that a business transaction is a private affair between two people.

HUGHES

Fifty, then? Look, I need to know who owns this land!

McMurtry looks at Hughes, who is on the verge of groveling pathetically.

MCMURTRY

One hundred.

HUGHES

Fine. Here. Now, who owns it?

MCMURTRY

Well, he never actually told me his name.

Hughes screams.

MCMURTRY

Young fellow. Good looking. Never mentioned his name. Left his phone number though.

HUGHES

What was it?

MCMURTRY

The number?

HUGHES

Yes!!

Hughes thrusts a handful of bills at McMurtry, who extends a torn piece of paper with the phone number on it. Hughes snatches it greedily and runs off with it back to his car, sweating and wiping his brow.

INT HOTEL ROOM

Flaherty is sitting on the bed, loosening his tie. Harrison walks out of the bathroom, and sits on the bed opposite Flaherty.

HARRISON

He's not going to call.

FLAHERTY

What the hell do you mean, he's not going to call? He bought the whole story. Don't think so negatively or you'll never be a decent, uh, flimflam man.

HARRISON

We're not going to get her back.

FLAHERTY

What? Who?

HARRISON

Lila. I'm never going to see her again. They're going to kill her.

FLAHERTY

Oh. Right. Look, kid. Just sit quietly and wait for the phone call. Do you want some coffee?

They sit in silence for a while, looking around the room. Tension mounts. Harrison stands up quickly.

FLAHERTY

Where are you going?

HARRISON

Can't take it any more. I'm going out for a walk.

FLAHERTY

The hell you are! What if the phone rings while you're out? You think about that?

HARRISON

It's not going to ring.

FLAHERTY

Kid, how many time's do I gotta tell you? Everything's gonna go fine.

HARRISON

I'm taking a walk.

Harrison tries to shoulder past Flaherty, and is about to succeed when the phone rings. They both freeze.

FLAHERTY

Answer it!

HARRISON

What do I say?

FLAHERTY

Don't tell him anything. Just agree to meet with his this afternoon.

HARRISON

Got it.

Harrison picks up the phone.

HARRISON

Hello. Yes. Yes. Oh, really. You don't say. Fine, I'll meet with you in an hour. Where?

He covers the mouthpiece and hisses at Flaherty.

HARRISON

Where?

FLAHERTY

How the hell should I know? You're the one who lives here!

HARRISON

Oh. Right. How about the park?

FLAHERTY

Fine.

HARRISON

(into the phone)

The park. Three o clock.

Harrison hangs up the phone and runs his hands through his hair.

FLAHERTY

You did good, kid. Didn't I tell you everything's gonna be all right.

HARRISON

Yeah, maybe you're right.

FLAHERTY

Course I'm right. Come on, we gotta get to your park.

They rush out.

EXT PARK - DAY

Harrison and Flaherty are loitering about. Flaherty is smoking and looking calm. Harrison looks like he is about to explode with tension.

FLAHERTY

Kid, if you don't relax, this isn't going to work.

HARRISON

What do you mean?

FLAHERTY

Look, do you remember your story?

HARRISON

Yeah.

FLAHERTY

Lemme hear it.

HARRISON

I'm working for an unnamed interested party in Atlanta who got a tip from a friend in the Department of Defense. I nabbed the land this morning, but my employer is willing to dump it for half a million.

FLAHERTY

Dump it? Come on. We're not dumping land here; we're offering him the deal of a lifetime! You could get one point five mil easy, but you could use a friend in town. Got that?

HARRISON

Yeah, I got it.

FLAHERTY

Good, because he's here.

HARRISON

What?

FLAHERTY

Over by the park bench. Good luck. I'll meet you in the car.

HARRISON

What? You're not coming with me?

FLAHERTY

How the hell could I come with you? I'm supposed to be a legitimate representative for a defense contractor. He sees me with you, we're finished.

HARRISON

But I can't do this alone!

FLAHERTY

Sure you can, kid. Just remember what I taught you. Believe in your story. Stay calm. If he tries to catch you on something, just bullshit him. Besides, you've got a good face. You'll be fine.

HARRISON

Easy for you to say.

FLAHERTY

You think I would have you do anything I haven't already done a million times? It's easy.

HARRISON

If it's so easy, how come you haven't done this a million times and retired?

FLAHERTY

Don't push me, kid. Look, just get over there.

HARRISON

I don't know...

FLAHERTY

You want to see Lila again?

HARRISON

Yeah. Right. Lila. See you in the car.

HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Lila is on her bed, still on the phone. She is looking a little less energetic, but is continuing to collect money for her fictional charity.

LILA

Ma'am, I'm sorry to hear that your son is crippled, but don't you want to help other children just like little Timmy? And besides, all that money you're spending on water therapy isn't really helping that much, is it? Exactly. Thank you, Mrs. Pettus.

Lila hangs up the phone and sighs.

LILA

God damn these people are slow!

She picks up the phone again and dials.

LILA

Hello, sir. I need some cash for crippled orphans, so put a check in the mail! What? Well, thank you, sir. Your generosity amazes me.

Lila rolls her eyes.

EXT PARK

Harrison and Hughes are seated on a park bench.

HARRISON

A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Hughes.

HUGHES

The pleasure's all mine. Though perhaps this is more business than pleasure.

HARRISON

Yes. I understand you are interested in purchasing a piece of land I acquired this morning.

HUGHES

Indeed. Let's not mince words, man. I need that land, so name your figure.

HARRISON

Half a million.

HUGHES

That's a pretty price for a few acres of dirt.

HARRISON

Yes, but we both know what that dirt is for. Either you're in or you're out.

HUGHES

I'll give you four hundred thousand.

Harrison gets up to leave.

HARRISON

I'm sorry. I find that offer unacceptable. Perhaps Mr. Wilkins can give me a more competitive offer.

HUGHES

Wilkins?

HARRISON

The fellow from the defense contractors.

HUGHES

Funny. I could have sworn his name was Wilson.

HARRISON

Wilson, Wilkins. Doesn't really matter, does it? You spoke earlier of mining words, so let's not mince any here. That land should be worth a small fortune by the end of the week and you and I both know it. Mr. Hughes, I know you're a businessman, and this is just business. If you are not willing to pay what I ask, I am perfectly willing to settle with Wilson and clean up for myself. But, if the price is right, I wouldn't mind having a friend in town. Four hundred k is not the right price. So, unless you have anything more to say, good day to you, sir.

HUGHES

Now, wait a moment there, boy. Let's not be so hasty. Perhaps we can still arrange something.

HARRISON

Half a million. Cash. No discussion.

HUGHES

It's in my car.

INT HARRISON'S APARTMENT - DAY

Harrison and Flaherty enter, Harrison holding on to a small black sports bag.

FLAHERTY

Nice place you've got here.

HARRISON

Thanks. How'd I do?

FLAHERTY

You did good, kid. Real good.

HARRISON

Thanks. I'm sweating like a pig, though.

FLAHERTY

Go take a shower. We've still got an hour before we have to go drop off the cash.

HARRISON

Shouldn't we get there early? Just to be safe.

FLAHERTY

No, get there early, and they'll probably be suspicious.

HARRISON

All right. Do you think they'll let her go?

FLAHERTY

Why wouldn't they? Don't be silly. Go take your shower.

Harrison runs off to the bathroom, leaving Flaherty to wander around the room. He sees a wedding picture of Lila and Harrison.

FLAHERTY

Fucking unbelievable.

He starts to put the picture back down, then, before resting it on the table, picks it back up again. He looks over at the bag of cash, then at the picture. He slams the picture back down on the table, feels his back pocket, and pulls out the Polaroid picture. Grabbing scissors, he cuts the picture to wallet size, then slips it into his picture holder in his wallet. He views the wallet and grins.

FLAHERTY

Damn, that's smooth.

INT BATHROOM - DAY

Harrison steps out of the shower, dripping wet, and is confronted with Flaherty shoving the picture of Lila that is in his wallet in Harrison's face.

FLAHERTY

Look familiar? Is this your wonderful wife? Is this the five hundred thousand dollar woman?

HARRISON

What the hell are you talking about?

He snatches the picture holder from the wallet.

HARRISON

You kidnapped Lila!!

Harrison dives at Flaherty and attempts to choke him. While being choked, Flaherty whispers hoarsely.

FLAHERTY

My wife too. My wife too.

Harrison releases him and looks confused.

HARRISON

Where the hell did you get that?

FLAHERTY

You marry a woman that looks like that, you gotta take pictures.

HARRISON

You're not married to Lila!

FLAHERTY

Not anymore. Had this picture taken just before she skipped town.

HARRISON

What?

FLAHERTY

Kid, I think you'd better sit down.

HARRISON

I'll be fine. Just tell me what the hell you're talking about.

FLAHERTY

Lila. She's my ex-wife. She ran out on me about eight months ago. Took all the cash I had. Hooked up with some rich bastard in Detroit, last I heard. Guess she got tired of him, decided to hit you.

HARRISON

Wait. Why would she want to hit me?

FLAHERTY

You told her you were rich, right?

Harrison sits down on the toilet, and holds his head in his hands.

HARRISON

Damn it, all she wanted was the money. God damn it. God damn it.

FLAHERTY

It's okay, kid. I fell for the same damn thing. It happens to the best of us.

HARRISON

It's not okay. I can't believe I trusted that...that...that woman!

FLAHERTY

Not entirely your fault. She's one hell of a looker. Nailed me in less than a week, and I'm supposed to be a pro at this.

HARRISON

Yeah. I suppose.

FLAHERTY

Good. Now put on some clothes.

HARRISON

Huh?

FLAHERTY

We gotta go drop off the ransom, remember?

HARRISON

After what she did to me? After what she did to you?

FLAHERTY

Look, it's not her fault she got kidnapped. On the other hand, we could go a long way with half a million dollars.

HARRISON

What do you mean?

FLAHERTY

Decent capital and a good face? no telling what kind of scams you can pull. Course, you wouldn't want to just abandon Lila like that.

HARRISON

Do you think they'd kill her if I didn't pay?

FLAHERTY

Who knows? Probably not.

Silence. Harrison looks at Flaherty, the bag, then the picture. More silence.

HARRISON

We should probably get her back.

FLAHERTY

Yeah. You're probably right. Besides, money isn't everything.

Both men immediately stop, as they become aware of the sound of approaching sirens. They run to the window and see a massive fleet of police cars rolling down the street.

FLAHERTY

Damn it, Hughes must have got wise. Put some clothes on. We' gotta get out of here.

EXT APARTMENT BUILDING - DUSK

Flaherty and Harrison open the door of the building carefully. They dive into the bushes as the fleet of cars pulls up in front of a house next door, which is already surrounded by police cars and news vans.

INT HOTEL ROOM- DUSK

Lila is still in bed, still on the phone. She looks very weary now.

LILA

Yes, Ma'am. For a donation of five thousand dollars, we will send you a special Crippled Orphan piggy bank.

She looks over at the TV, which is on mute, and sees news footage of a house surrounded by police cars, the house next to Harrison's apartment building.

LILA

Excuse me. Could you hold on a moment, Ma'am?

She drops the phone, allowing it to dangle by its cord, and hits the mute button on the remote. The sound comes on in mid-report. The picture remains the scene of police mobbing around the house.

ANNOUNCER

...on a tip from a potential victim. The police traced the address given by the phony charity to the house of Mr. and Mrs. Douglas and Elizabeth Linder. Mrs. Linder was led a away by police moments ago on twenty-seven separate counts of fraud. Mr. Linder was arrested last night on a charge of solicitation and is expected to be charged with conspiracy to commit fraud. Police suspicions were further aroused when the Linders opened a new bank account and purchased tickets to Rio de Janeiro this morning. Police are also investigating alleged ties to the Montana Militia, a connection which appears to have baffled Huntsville police detectives. The Linders had no comment.

The image on the screen cuts to a picture of the Linders' child, crying as his mother is taken away to jail.

ANNOUNCER

Their child, Ralph, will be placed in state custody until further events warrant.

LILA

Ha! Serves you right for turning up the fucking TV! Right, you bastard?

Lila is laughing hysterically.

VOICE FROM PHONE

Hello? Hello?

Lila picks up the phone.

LILA

Fuck off.

She slams down the phone and turns her attention back to the TV. The shot is now a wrap-up by the reporter. In the background is Harrison's house, and one can clearly see Harrison and Flaherty sneaking out of the bushes. Lila lunges toward the TV and points at their images.

LILA

What the hell are you doing there? What the fuck is going on here?

Lila runs around the room, stuffing her belongings in her bag. She runs out of the hotel.

EXT STREET - DUSK

Harrison and Flaherty are standing about on the side of the road. Flaherty is bending over, his hands resting on his knees. Harrison is also catching his breath, but is notably less winded. He holds the bag in one hand.

FLAHERTY

I'm getting old. Running from cops never used to tire me out.

HARRISON

You do this often?

FLAHERTY

Too often. This the place?

HARRISON

The note said I'm supposed to drop the cash down the storm drain here.

FLAHERTY

Seems like kind of a waste of money if you ask me.

HARRISON

How do you mean?

FLAHERTY

Half a million dollars is a hell of a lot of cash. You've heard the phrase it takes money to make money.

HARRISON

Yeah.

FLAHERTY

Works for con artists, too. You know what kind of cons we could set up with half a mil?

HARRISON

Good ones?

FLAHERTY

Damn good ones.

Silence.

HARRISON

I really should get my wife back, though.

FLAHERTY

Yeah. I suppose.

HARRISON

She screwed you?

FLAHERTY

Like a sailor on shore leave. Look, kid. I'm not going to lie to you. I don't want you to give up the cash. You and me, kid, we make a good team. You're good at this stuff.

HARRISON

I'm not that good at it.

FLAHERTY

The hell you aren't! You think I could talk someone out of a half a million? People don't trust me. Look at me. You know what you see? A two-bit con-man drifter low-life. I'm lucky to talk someone out of a buck or two. But someone with a face like yours? The sky's the limit.

HARRISON

So what should I do?

FLAHERTY

What should you do or what do I think you should do?

HARRISON

What do you think I should do?

FLAHERTY

Forget Lila. She's a tease. You're better off without her. Women like her are a dime a dozen. Northern city trash. The kinda money we'll have, kid, you can buy fifty of them, and still have enough to buy up half the state of Alabama.

HARRISON

But she's my wife.

FLAHERTY

She was my wife too, remember. Kid, forget about her. You've got something real here. You have one hell of a future ahead of you. Admit it, you like it.

HARRISON

It is kind of fun.

FLAHERTY

It's fun because you're good at it. You ever been good at anything, kid?

HARRISON

Not really.

FLAHERTY

No. And now that you've found it, are you going to let it slip right through your fingers?

HARRISON

I'm not sure.

FLAHERTY

What the hell do you mean, you're not sure! Come on, kid. We've got half a million dollars in that bag, and you want to toss it in the gutter so you can rescue some second-rate tramp!

Flaherty throws up his hands in frustration, then breaks into the nearest car.

FLAHERTY

You do what you want, kid. I'm heading out of town. If you're so smart you'll do the same. This city's crawling with cops and it won't be long before Hughes gives them a good picture of who to be looking for.

HARRISON

Fine. Let's go.

FLAHERTY

What about the money?

HARRISON

We stole it. It's ours.

FLAHERTY

What about Lila?

HARRISON

She was bad to you?

FLAHERTY

Kid, bad doesn't begin to describe it.

HARRISON

Let's ride.

INT DINER IN ARAB - NIGHT

Flaherty and Harrison are seated at a booth at a sleazy diner. Flaherty, as usual, is not eating, but smoking and drinking coffee. Title card comes up and reads: Arab, Alabama.

FLAHERTY

So, what do you know about this town?

HARRISON

About Arab? Not much. Small town. They've got a big Klan chapter.

FLAHERTY

How do you know that?

HARRISON

Word gets around.

FLAHERTY

Right. How's your steak?

HARRISON

Had better. It's mostly fat.

FLAHERTY

Let me see it.

Harrison slides the plate across the table. Flaherty pulls out his lighter and lights it. He proceeds to burn the steak badly.

HARRISON

(shouting)

What the...

FLAHERTY

Keep your voice down.

HARRISON

What the hell are you doing? I was going to eat that.

FLAHERTY

Don't worry. I'll get you another one.

Flaherty slides the plate in front of Harrison, then signals the waiter.

WAITER

Sir?

FLAHERTY

Do you work here?

WAITER

Yes, sir.

FLAHERTY

Look at my friend's steak.

The waiter peers at the badly burned steak.

WAITER

It appears to be burned, sir.

FLAHERTY

Hell, yes, it appears to be burned. The question is, what are you going to do about it?

WAITER

Apologize.

FLAHERTY

Where the hell is your manager?

Cut to a later scene. The manager is standing by the table. The waiter stands off to the side, looking sheepish.

MANAGER

Of course, sir. We'd be glad to replace your friend's meal. For free.

FLAHERTY

Thank you, sir. You are a gentleman. Unlike others in this establishment.

MANAGER

Yes, sir. He will be dealt with appropriately. (to the waiter) Get this man a steak!

The manager chases the waiter into the kitchen.

HARRISON

What the hell did you do that for?

FLAHERTY

Penny saved. Penny earned. All that.

HARRISON

We've got a half a million dollars, Flaherty. I think we can afford a steak.

FLAHERTY

Look, kid. It wasn't about a steak. You see how easy it was to work those two?

HARRISON

Yeah. So?

FLAHERTY

So, I'm willing to bet all the money I've got in this world that it's that easy to nail every single person in this town.

HARRISON

Impossible.

FLAHERTY

Look at these people, kid. I'd say not one in twenty has left the county. Probably at least half haven't left Arab in the past ten years. They'll believe anything we tell them.

HARRISON

You're full of shit.

FLAHERTY

Don't get defensive, Bubba. This could be a sure thing.

HARRISON

What could be a sure thing?

FLAHERTY

The job.

HARRISON

What job?

FLAHERTY

You set Wolfgang Puck loose in gourmet supermarket, are your really going to worry what he's going to do?

Harrison looks confused. He get up.

HARRISON

Look. I've got to find the bathroom. I'll deal with you and Mr. Puck later.

Harrison gets up and leaves the table. Flaherty calls after him.

FLAHERTY

Deal with me? You've got this whole thing backwards. I've got it all under control. Just...

Flaherty realizes Harrison is out of earshot.

FLAHERTY

Damn stubborn kid.

Flaherty lifts up a cup of coffee and sips. Lila's silhouette slides in the empty booth across from Flaherty. Flaherty continues to drink his coffee.

LILA

Aren't you going to say hello?

FLAHERTY

I never said goodbye.

LILA

We need to talk.

FLAHERTY

Yup.

LILA

When?

FLAHERTY

Tonight, most likely.

LILA

Most likely? What the hell's that supposed to mean?

FLAHERTY

Never take anything for granted that's what its supposed to mean. Where you staying?

LILA

Day's Inn. Edge of town.

FLAHERTY

Good. Get going. The kid might not have noticed you, but I spotted you two towns back.

INT HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Harrison and Flaherty walk into the hotel room. Flaherty tosses the duffel bag into the closet and slides it back, out of view.

FLAHERTY

Nice place, huh?

HARRISON

Sure. Flaherty, why am I here?

FLAHERTY

You're here because you love this stuff. Right?

HARRISON

Sure. Is it really a good idea to stick around here? Shouldn't we leave the state or the country or something?

FLAHERTY

Nah. Hughes will probably hold off on calling the cops for a while. Won't want to admit he got conned. See, we've got at least a couple days to maneuver, so might as well take advantage of our location.

He strides over to the window and throws open the drapes, revealing the main drag of the town.

FLAHERTY

Look at these people, kid. Every single one of them is just begging to have their money taken. You know why?

HARRISON

No idea.

FLAHERTY

These people, they've got a lot of trust, but they don't know what to do with their trust. See, kid, trust is a two-way street. You trust the right people, you've got it made. You trust the wrong people, and you're liable to spend the rest of your days homeless in El Salvador. These people are perfect. We'd be fools to let this opportunity slip by!

HARRISON

Yeah. You're right.

FLAHERTY

Hell, yeah. You're in?

HARRISON

I'm in.

FLAHERTY

Good. Now get some sleep. I'm going to go do a little scouting.

Harrison nods.

INT HOTEL ROOM

Lila is lying on the bed, bored. Knocking is heard as the door opens. Flaherty enters.

FLAHERTY

You shouldn't just leave your door open. You never know...

Flaherty ducks as Lila throws a phone book at him.

LILA

What the hell are you up to? Why the fuck did you leave me back there? You're trying to get rid of me, aren't you? You fucking tired of me, Flaherty? Is that what it is?

FLAHERTY

Lila, I've got it all under control.

LILA

The hell you do! Last thing I saw you and the goober were running from the cops.

FLAHERTY

Look, things have changed. Let me explain the new setup.

LILA

Go right ahead.

FLAHERTY

Remember when I described the land scam deal to you?

LILA

Yeah, the one you said never to pull...

FLAHERTY

...'cause it's too dangerous, right. I got the kid to pull it.

LILA

What? Did it work?

FLAHERTY

Fuckin'-a, it worked. Half a mil.

LILA

Five hundred thousand?

FLAHERTY

Yup. Kid's got a good face.

LILA

Great. When do we lose him?

FLAHERTY

Lose him? Hey, he's got a good face. We could use a guy like that.

LILA

What? Look, when I met you you didn't even want a partner. Four months I spent before you'd even talk to me! Now you want to take in some fresh-faced little southern punk you've only known two days?

FLAHERTY

You never brought in five hundred grand.

LILA

The kid goes or I go.

FLAHERTY

That's a tough choice.

LILA

Fuck you.

FLAHERTY

I'm just kidding, hon. We'll be losing the kid real soon. But I need you to understand a few things. I'm not keeping you over the kid because you're better, because you're not. But you could be better. A hell of a lot better. You know what he's got that you don't?

LILA

Tell me.

FLAHERTY

Kid's got ears. He listens to what I tell him to do, and he does it. The kid's got patience. He didn't back out of the job before it was done. And he can act. That goober you were sleeping with wasn't the same man I saw talking to Hughes back there. You know what you got that he doesn't?

LILA

Fuck you.

FLAHERTY

I'm serious. You've got a look, and that's something the kid'll never have. But if you don't do anything with it, that's all you'll ever be.

LILA

Thanks for the flattery. I'm touched. Harrison. When does he go?

FLAHERTY

Tomorrow. The cops take him.

LILA

Another brilliant scheme?

FLAHERTY

Last one worked. You want in on this?

LILA

I just want him gone.

FLAHERTY

Fair enough. After tomorrow, we never see the kid again.

LILA

You should have dumped him back in Huntsville.

FLAHERTY

Lila, if I dropped the kid back there, the cops would have had him before he hit the ground. Even if I had let him drop the money down the drain, Hughes would have had him behind bars. Kid would've given our names and faces and we wouldn't have made it out of Madison County without a full-on Bonnie and Clyde. I figure, we get him out of town, string him along for a bit, then get him set up on some job where no one's seen either of us. By the cops get onto us, we're down in Gulf Shores living it up.

LILA

Why wouldn't they find us down there?

FLAHERTY

I've got friends. Just let me handle it.

LILA

So what do I do?

FLAHERTY

Sit back and wait. Watch some TV.. I'll stop by around noon.

LILA

How do I know you're not going to leave town again?

FLAHERTY

Don't know. Trust?

LILA

Ha.

Flaherty shrugs.

INT HOTEL ROOM - MORNING

Flaherty opens the door and throws a bag of donuts at Harrison, who is, in turn, blinded by the sunlight.

FLAHERTY

Rise and shine. Got a big day ahead of us.

HARRISON

Don't you ever sleep?

FLAHERTY

Not if I can help it. Now, get out of bed. We're going shopping.

INT WAL-MART - DAY

Flaherty and Harrison are standing in the television section chatting with a SALESPERSON.

FLAHERTY

This your best model?

SALESPERSON

Yes, sir. 35" screen. Full Dolby sound. Top of the line. Couldn't do any better.

FLAHERTY

How much?

SALESPERSON

Eleven hundred. Plus tax.

FLAHERTY

Great. I'll take six of 'em.

HARRISON

What?

FLAHERTY

Six of 'em. Do I get 'em here or pick them up around back?

SALESPERSON

Around back, sir. Are you planning to pay for this by check, sir, because, if so, I'm going to have to...

FLAHERTY

Not necessary. Paying with cash, my friend.

SALESPERSON

Cash? This isn't anything illegal, is it, sir?

FLAHERTY

Perish the thought. I'm setting up an office in town. Need some TVs for the waiting room.

SALESPERSON

Right. An office. I'll just go write up the slips.

FLAHERTY

Perfect. Say, think we could pick up a dolly while we're here?

EXT STREET - DAY

Harrison and Flaherty are standing out on the street. The car is overflowing with giant TV sets.

FLAHERTY

Ready?

HARRISON

Sure. But I still don't understand why we're doing this.

FLAHERTY

You don't need to. Let's go over your story again. Now, I'm the housewife. Make me believe.

HARRISON

OK. Hello, ma'am. I'm from the Pan Southern Electronic Company. We recently invested in a number of fine television sets, and have been forced to declare bankruptcy. As a result, we are forced to unload...

FLAHERTY

Don't be apologetic. You're giving them the deal of a lifetime.

HARRISON

Sorry. As a result, we are forced to offer you the deal of a lifetime. We are willing to sell you one of these beautiful television stets...

As he has been speaking, the camera has tracked around from facing Flaherty when he spoke to a tight facial shot of Harrison. The camera continues tracking around while zooming out, reveling that Harrison is no longer talking to Flaherty, but to a HOUSEWIFE.

HARRISON

...for the bargain price of one hundred dollars. It would be a shame to pass on an offer like this, ma'am.

HOUSEWIFE

I don't know. How do I know it works and all?

HARRISON

Ma'am. As you can see, I've brought one of these fine sets with me, and I would be extremely happy to allow you to test it out in the comfort of your own home.

HOUSEWIFE

Really? You really are a good man, aren't you?

Cut to later shot of the two watching the TV in action.

HOUSEWIFE

I've got to admit, it is a beautiful set.

HARRISON

It sure is. Ma'am, you're not going to get a better deal than this.

HOUSEWIFE

I suppose you're right. Is cash all right?

HARRISON

Cash is always all right.

The housewife digs in her purse.

HARRISON

Ma'am. There's one more thing I need to ask you.

INT HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Flaherty is seated on the bed, watching TV and smoking. Harrison enters. Flaherty does not look up.

FLAHERTY

How'd you make out?

HARRISON

Just fine. I sold seven thousand dollars worth of TV sets for six hundred bucks. Great way to make cash, boss.

FLAHERTY

Don't need to talk back, you know. You've been doing this for, what, two days?

HARRISON

I just don't see how throwing away money is going to help us out.

FLAHERTY

Salting the mines, kid.

HARRISON

What?

FLAHERTY

Salting the mines. Oldest trick in the book. Hundred years ago, the best con going was in mining. Plant a couple nuggets of gold in a mine. Dig em up, and convince everyone the shaft's full of gold. People will trample each other to death to get their hands on that deed.

HARRISON

What the hell does this have to do with TV sets?

FLAHERTY

You got the names and numbers of everyone you sold to, right?

HARRISON

Yup. Like you said, I told them we might be calling for references.

FLAHERTY

Perfect.

HARRISON

Are you going to tell me now what the hell we're doing?

FLAHERTY

Sure. Grab the phone book. There a map in there?

HARRISON

Sure is.

FLAHERTY

Good. Now fold it in half.

HARRISON

You're not going to tell me what's going on, are you?

FLAHERTY

In due time, friend. Now, pick one half of the town.

HARRISON

OK.

FLAHERTY

Perfect. Now, you're going to go door to door selling TVs in every single house in that half.

HARRISON

What TVs?

FLAHERTY

That's the beauty of it. Same story as before, only, rather than showing them the TV, we tell them to call a few satisfied customers.

HARRISON

Then let them call the people we sold the other sets to?

FLAHERTY

Exactly. Beauty, eh?

HARRISON

It's not going to work.

FLAHERTY

Like hell it's not. Friend of mine made a couple hundred grand pulling this out in Arkansas. Works like a charm. Like a charm, I tell you. Damn it, it's almost noon. We've got to get out there. We've only got five hours.

HARRISON

Five hours?

FLAHERTY

Before their husbands come home. Come on. I'll meet you back here at five.

HARRISON

Then we leave town?

FLAHERTY

We leave town.

HARRISON

Good.

FLAHERTY

What's the matter? I thought you liked Alabama.

HARRISON

Now I know better.

EXT DOORWAY - DAY

Harrison is standing at the doorway, chatting with another housewife.

HARRISON

We recently invested in a small Korean electronics firm, and, due to the recent international capital crisis, we have been forced to declare bankruptcy on all of our derivatives. As a result...

INT HOTEL ROOM

Flaherty opens the door, startling Lila.

FLAHERTY

Grab your stuff. Time to get going.

LILA

You're late.

FLAHERTY

A little. I'm surprised you didn't skip town.

LILA

Figured I could trust you for ten more minutes. You dump the kid?

FLAHERTY

Not yet. Only a phone call away. Better get going, though.

EXT DOORWAY

Harrison is talking to yet another housewife.

HARRISON

...for the bargain price of five hundred dollars, but... Do you watch Days of our Lives?

HOUSEWIFE

Why, yes! That's Jeanette's a real bitch, isn't it?

HARRISON

Ma'am, since I'd hate for you to miss a minute of Days in full Dolby stereo, I'm willing to let this go for only a hundred...

EXT GAS STATION